|

ManUfactured

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The Prem is ManUfactured
The Football League is fractured
A terrible decision
To split the four divisions

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The Hillsborough occurrence
Lamented with abhorrence
Was everyone’s excuse
To let the wolfpack loose

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 John Hall and Freddie Shepherd
Were lurking like a leopard
But following the buy-out
We watched the millions fly out

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Were they enthusiastic
Installing all that plastic
But debts they rose in mountains
In tandem with accountants

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The capitalisation
Led to a realisation
It wasn’t such a doddle
And taxing on the noddle

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 We’ve sold out to the slimeballs
Your Shepherds and your Doug Halls
Pursue the kick-back culture
With cunning of the vulture

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 And armies of freeloaders
Who constantly corrode us
The agents with their bungs-oh
And business tricks so gung-ho

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The top flight’s globalising
With tacky merchandising
And boy it’s less than thrilling
To watch them make a killing

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 The club strip wearing horde
They do us proud abroad
They’ve spread across the lands
With brass bands in the stands

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 And season ticket fossils
Are getting up our nozzles
Week in week out they sit there
Upon their backsides four-square

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 No singing now or chanting
Just loud bad-tempered ranting
Where once in donkey jacket
Folks stood and made a racket

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 And so we’re all diminished
The English League is finished
In hock to greedy papers
And players media capers

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 No empty terrace filling
As in the mob comes spilling
A bit the worse for wear
And trouble in the air

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Your place behind the net
With folks you’ve never met
No longer to be found
Inside the rebuilt ground

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Your fashion-conscious Chelsea
No place for Auntie Elsie
At 40 quid a ticket
She’d rather see the cricket

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 There’s plenty more just like her
From Denton Burn to Byker
From Longsight to Old Trafford
And Leicester Hull and Stafford

17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 Clubs are bigger in Malaysia
And other parts of Asia
So frankly you can keep them
My comments you can bleep them

Notes

Lament on the state of things in the Football League, from a Newcastle United perspective.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/manufactured/