Football Poets

You really couldn’t make it up
A tea bar with no tea
If it wasn’t such a shambles
You’d think someone was taking the P!
Football might have moved on
No longer a bovril and a flat cap
But not having a half-time […]

Was you doing lip service
Supporting ‘Rainbow Laces’ Day?
How tolerant would you really be
If footballers turned gay?
The game turns a blind eye
To managers and agents taking bungs
Can you imagine the uproar
Of […]

Such a simple concept
Inventing Non League Day
I never realised how much
Until Dulwich entered the fray.
I could never have imagined
Champion Hill packed to the hilt
Biggest crowd we’ve ever seen
Since the Stadium […]

It was one hundred years ago today
So began the war to end all wars.
If you’re one who looks back in horror & disgust
Please take a moment to pause.
It was lions led by donkeys
Who perished in many a foreign […]

It’s that time of year again
When the hope does you in
Not long til mid-September
All your dreams in the bin.
How times have changed
Since Gavin had a plan
And we’ve been over run
By the bearded ‘New-veau’ fan.
Do […]

I can’t understand the excitement
It’s not the same
For me the Sky TV generation
Must take the blame.
But Then I’m a bit
Of a sporting Luddite at heart
Original football dinosaur
Boring old school fart.
The modern […]

Not sure how it translates
The ‘Cup der Angst’
But to my Altona friends
I owe my thanks.
To use an old cliché
The welcome was ‘Wunderbar’
I really am glad
I travelled so far.
My ‘main course’ cancelled
No Hamburg […]

If you were from the Sixties generation
You could tell me where you were
Like the rest of the nation
When Kennedy died
And the whole world cried.
If you, like me…
Are from the football generation
Born in the […]

They say football’s run by cowboys
I might not always agree
But ninety odd quid
For a new England shirt
Is really taking the pee!
Back in the so-called ‘Bad Old Days’
To follow your country meant you were a […]

It seems a million
Light years away
How on earth did we cope
Back in the day
Before…
One tiny click
Could bring on elation
Or make you feel sick
When you wanted
An update on the score
Stuck at work
And desperate […]

Pushing for the play-offs
League table so tight
There are so many fans out there
Who think we’re Conference South by right.
Promotion’s such a big step
Do they really know the score?
All they’ve known is […]

One good thing
About being an old skool
Dinosaur of a fan
Is knowing, just knowing
That we are going
For certain
To lose today.
It will be a clash of styles
On and off the pitch
Their traditionalists
Screaming […]

Are you really interested?
Well seeing as you
Were nice enough to ask
I shall tell you exactly
What I did last night.
I saw a football match.
A proper one
In the flesh.
And by that I mean
Not one down the […]

Was tonight the peak of your career
Not even old enough to buy a beer
FA Youth Cup at The Den
Never to grace a Pro ground again.
Chance of penalty glory
Missed and froze
That’s how the fickle hand
Of football f […]

A dreary town
Stuck on the Kent coast
Always an awful place
I dreaded visiting most.
Not because I hated seaside
That was always fun
The shame was
I could only afford
The penny arcades
Which I never won.
No […]

On the train
Going West
But this is different
From the rest.
Not a Sunday morning
In a field
With only a jacket
Or brolly as a shield
The only fan at a game!
Tonight is your exception
At Griffin Park
Glory boy […]

In this modern era of communication
Finding out the latest is a frustration
Flitting between computer and work
There’s a limit how much to shirk.
Unlike the Likely Lads
Am desperate for the score
Feed me the […]

Where have you gone boys?
Don’t worry. We won’t be long.
Back by Christmas!
Oh, if only…
Never to come back at all.
Forever Dulwich
In a field
In Belgium or France
Our own players
Who never stood a chance.
A ‘hero […]

Is it wrong to gloat
Ear to ear grin across your boat?
Not when you’ve had a week like this
Exhilaration pure football bliss!
First up were the Thugs and Muggers
I really hate the south-west London buggers!
Even […]

If you speak to
A non-league fan
He’ll tell you
There’s no such thing
As the ‘Magic of the Cup’.
For Shoreham
It’s a nice day out
Up to London
To take on The Hamlet.
For us? A Cup run?
From Dulwich? […]