Football Poets

The appointment of wee Denis Wise
Has taken the Toon by surprise
To have him as sidekick ain’t sound
It should be the other way round

Though Keegan’s enthronement was stirring
It set the sports rumour-mill […]

They say being England manager
Can seriously damage yer
But Curbs is in the reckoning
The hot seat it’s a-beckoning

It’s bye-bye to McLaren
His legacy is barren
And ringing in the new
We have to name a few

But I […]

Big Dunc
Big Dunc

Every mornning at the club, you could see him arrive.
He stood 6 foot 6, weighed 245.
Kind of broad at the shoulders, narrow at the hip.
And everybody knew you didn’t give no lip to Big […]

Whenever I log on it’s fine
To switch hats to FoggontheTyne
Instead of emitting a curse
I just let off steam with bad verse

The cause of my trouble is clear
And I’m going to set it out here
A bad case of faith […]

The Prem is ManUfactured
The Football League is fractured
A terrible decision
To split the four divisions

The Hillsborough occurrence
Lamented with abhorrence
Was everyone’s excuse
To let the wolfpack l […]

agents got the players nobbled
an the money’s being gobbled
fans are paying froo the nose
but that’s just ow it goes

people aint got no respect
for a game they all neglect
an the papers they all bore us […]

The squirrel is eating a conker
The season is hitting its stride
Here’s hoping it turns out a stonker
As Autumn gives way to Yuletide

But I’ve got a nasty suspicion
We’re not going anywhere fast
While Souness is […]

March 65
It was great to be alive
Going for promotion
And showing our devotion

Terraces and stands
A mass of waving hands
And faces oh so smiley
To see the great Jim Iley

Weaving round and past
Opponents all […]

They say that Michael Owen
Is raking all the dough in
But now he’s at the Toon
Our orbit’s past the Moon

He’s one hell of a striker
From Denton Burn to Byker
They’re getting on the shirt
Let’s hope we hit pay dirt

50,000 plus turned out
Kevin John and Steven
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even
Brightly shone the Toon that night
Though the frost was cruel
When Mourinho came in sight
With his squad so […]

Remember a day when you got out of bed
It was City at home not a thought in your head
Saturday morning it’s bacon and toast
Meet at the station and gan down the coast

Empty compartment hey let’s kick the […]

The kegs have been cleared from the concourse
In the East Stand beneath Bramall Lane
Without doubt the season is on course
Though Warnock’s a bit of a pain

Now everything’s eerily quiet
The booths are all […]

On March the first which is St David’s Day
I logged on waccoe for to have my say
To find the measure of collective fun
11 thousand and eleventy one

That’s all the fascinating topics posted
On waccoe where this […]

c’est la vie
mon ami
c’est pi-pi
but you see

it’s the press
causing stress
you’re fair game
what a shame

The Gelderd mob endured severe frustration
In suffering a recent relegation
Though now the pressure’s off Leeds fans are happier
The problem is the fixture list’s much crappier

So kicking off at home to Der […]

Beyond the hours of boozy going-down riot
There dawned a morn of relegation quiet
With punters taking five to face the day
And get their heads round Div 1, Leeds? No way!

The atmosphere in Peter Lorimer’s p […]

Leeds heavy 5 goal thrashing by the Gunners
Is up there with the season’s greatest stunners
The benchmark set in concrete by the Arse
Is built on a foundation of true class

No disrespect to Leeds but ’twas an […]

The Lurpak Stand rose proudly in the rain
As I passed through to Tyneside on the train
Leeds coming game with Fulham sprang to mind
Accompanied by thoughts that weren’t too kind

The Virgin Voyager pulled i […]

Leeds dug deep for a point against the Mancs
But honestly the draw was mainly thanks
To shaky rearguard action without Rio
Which meant United lacked their usual brio

When little Gary Neville spat his dummy
It […]