Football Poets

I’m a ex premiership footballer
Who’s now on skid row
But just how I arrived here
I really dont know.
Seventy Five grand a week
When I played for the Mags
Luxury appartments and a selection of jags.
Down in the […]

Who is this ‘Club Insider’
Who appears to know so much
This faceless ‘Club Insider’
Who keeps all of us readers in touch.
Their names are a closely guarded secret
Just a ‘Someone who is close to the club’
But I […]

This fine club of ours………..Is not for you
Negatives so many……………Positives so few
This fine City of ours………….Is not for you
Irrevocable damage……………You could never undo
So in the […]

At Glanford park
And the City Ground
Our lack of direction
Surely found.
On loan players, lacking guile
Commitment and passion
Now out of style.
Thirteen years to the day
Since our finest hour
Thanks to Ginola’s […]

Barney McHatter last week passed away
Who is Barney McHatter ? I hear you all say
One of life’s sporting gentlemen in every way
Football was his passion, and he taught us to play.
Fame and renown he never […]

Wonderful name ALBERT STUBBINS
Of Newcastle Utd and Liverpool fame
This great red headed centre forward
Older fans will remember his name.
And Albert is there in my record collection
On The Beatles ‘Sergeant […]

True fans those pilgrims from Plymouth
All who made the long journey North
Your team may be struggling at the moment
But you certainly all proved your worth.
And all those thousands of miles you will travel
Up and […]

Cheryl Cole a true geordie lass
Say’s she would buy Newcastle
If she had the cash.
I read the news on the internet
Our new messiah……Our geordie pet.
So have a word with Ashley
Your husband, not fat Mike who […]

We have hung on to STEPHEN TAYLOR
ALAN SMITH and young TIM KRUL
While our neighboughs splashed the cash again
On a centre back from Hull.
But we still have JOEY BARTON
KEVIN NOLAN, NICKY BUTT
And we are stuck with […]

You ask what is a football fan ?
Then ask my granda, ask my gran
My aunty Rita, my uncle Stan
My nephew Liam, my cousin Dan.
The bloke next door and all his clan
Every one a football fan.
All the lads and lasses […]

He must surely own a bus pass
Yet he’s running across our pitch
And according to the media
He was wearing not a stitch.
This man devoid of morals
In fact a total baffoon
The ugly face of football
Managing director […]

Robert William Robson
Born in the heart of County Durham’s
Mining community. Son of a miner.
A man destined to become
A true footballing legend. We will remember you.
We will remember you with affection.
We will […]

Martins, Coloccini, Gutierrez
Nolan, Smith, and Duff
Enrique, Xisco and Barton
I think I have named enough.
Humiliated by the Orient
Described by Chris Hughton as a blip
This rag bag of overpaid imposters
Ready to […]

I’m tired and weary
My poor feet are aching
I’ve dropped a right clanger
If I’m not mistaken.
I queued up for hours
Outside the club shop
It’s the bairns birthday the morra
And he wants a new top.
He wanted the […]

Two years ago I bought this football club
And it was called Newcarsal
Yet I could not tell a magpie
From a metatarsal.
I did not get it on the cheap
I paid quite a hefty price
Then this cockney geezer told me
To […]

Thanks to all who played their parts
Including our millionaire players
With their brittle hearts.
Thanks for showing no passion
And your spineless display
In front of your magnificent supporters
On our judgement […]

The last day approaches
The final countdown
Finger nails bitten
And wearing trousers of brown
Our premiership survival
Reliant on Sir Alex and Gus
To defeat their opposition
Which might just save us
But I have a […]

Only Two games to go
Approaching the straight
Fulham and the Villa
Then we’ll all know our fate
Three points from the Boro
On an incredible night
Shearer and Dowie
Perform a jig of delight
Taylor, Martins, and […]

The noose now tightens
Sealing our fate
The ‘Posh’ from Peterboro’
Now await.

A penny for your thoughts Al
Just what is going through your head
Your charges were outclassed Al
By those boys in red.
You must have […]

The man who invented football
Had eleven kids
And just to keep them occupied
This is what he did.
One day while out hunting dinosaurs
He kicked this lump of rock
It was a cold wet Saturday
And the time was Three o […]