Football Poets

Post a letter off to Santa
And make your feelings clear
State exactly what you want
Then sign it Joe Kinnear.
Explain that you have behaved yourself
And you’re a friendly sort of lad
But sometimes when you’re […]

Good morning Sir Alex
This is your old skipper Roy
I’m stuck up in Sunderland
And not having much joy.
I’ve spent all my millions
And now big Nial’s on my back
And the grapevine is saying
That I’ll soon get the […]

We are used to the cold
In the far North East
If the match is cancelled
We go out on the piste.
Or a spot of ice skating
Out on the Tyne
Roast chestnuts washed down
With strong ginger wine.
Half naked fans behind […]

Dear Mister Ashley,We’ll be in touch soon
We have finally raised enough money
To lodge a bid for OUR toon
We have sold all our programmes
Which took us years to collect
We have even sung carols outside Sports […]

Impish, with a cheeky grin
A mercurial, magical goal scorer
There’s only one Peter Beardsley.
Idolised in Black and White
A legend in Liverpool Red
And a hero in Everton Blue
Any better? they were few
Geordie […]

Huddled around the wireless
Crackling in the voice
Minutes until the final whistle
And all Tyneside would rejoice.
It’s May the Third 1952
And I am still a boy
George Robledo scores the winner
To fill my young […]

If I had grown to Six foot Four
Instead of Five foot Six
I would have been a goalie
A legend between the sticks.
I was always brave as a lion
Despite being very slight
So I worked hard on my press ups
And […]

Don’t judge me by the colour of my skin
I am proud of who I am
My mam and dad are proud of me
And so is my dear old gran
So make your family proud of you
And one day fulfil your dream
And we’ll be team mates […]

I leave home for work with a smile on my face
To do a job so close to my heart
Meeting football fans from all over the world
At my beloved St James’s Park.
MY club in the heart of MY city
Standing so proud on the […]

Good morning gentlemen of the press
Gather around lads in front of my desk
Things are quiet so I’ll keep it brief
No more swearing so that’s a relief.
So take your fingers off your bleepers
And my language I’ll […]

We are still Newcastle UNITED
All we ask is an end to this gloom
We are still Newcastle UNITED
Despite all the prophets of doom
We are still Newcastle UNITED
Don’t believe what others might say
We are still […]

We have a dog called SHEARER
And a cat named SHAY
A hamster we called KEEGAN
But alas he walked away
A goldfish christened BEARDSLEY
And a parrot that tell’s lies
A little snake we cannot trust
So we call him DENNIS WISE.

Clearance awaited
Before deal is completed
Passports and visa’s
Discussions quite heated.
Transfer is on, Agents agree
Buying club haggles
Over payment of fee
Ten million deposit
Balance on tick
Other clubs […]

My finger nails would be manicured
Not chewed down to the bone
Or frustrated by injuries
To young Michael Owen.
With the money I’d save
I would pay off my debts
No running down to the bookies
And placing daft […]

My expectations are no means great
Forty years I have had to wait
Yes Forty years of meagre pickings
‘ HARD TIMES ‘ wrote old Charlie Dickens
Hard times indeed for the geordie nation
So don’t talk to me of expectation.

I’m a tired old footballer
Who is now telling tales
About lads who I played with
Who have gone off the rails
About managers I played under
Who did not have a clue
Coaches who never listened
To my point of view.
I […]

I’m a premiership footballer
wearing Armani suits
I’m paid a kings ransom
For just wearing my boots
With the makers brand name
Stitched inside each tongue
I intend making millions
While I’m still young.
My […]

I buy my season ticket
I yell and scream and shout
And if Kevin Keegan asked me
I would play for him for nowt.
I haven’t any agents
For me the trouble with the game
Which was a lot more beautiful
Before these […]

He was rather subdued when he spoke to the press
Mumbled his words with the odd no or yes.
His plans for the future
He kept close to his chest.
Glanced at his advisors
And said they know best.
Now that’s quite […]

The Prayer mats redundant
All fingers uncrossed
I have retrieved lucky pennies
Which into fountains I tossed.
I now walk under ladders
As the threat is now gone
Premier league football next season
And that’s where […]