Football is dead And Jimmy is sore. He picks up his bed And leaves. With a shake and a shimmy, Football’s no more. But only poor Jimmy Greaves.

I’m the affable Under 8’s manager, I work very well with the young, But I don’t think its fair I don’t get my fair share, For I’ve never been offered a bung. When we’re losing a match very heavily, They might feel the lash of my tongue, For a new minibus Could’ve done things for […]

You dig a pit in the jungle clearing, Cover it with fronds and leaves. Hide whene’er a football’s nearing (Free from danger, he believes) Bouncing hard upon the clover, Watch him break the leaves and fall. So dear friends, the lesson’s over, That is how to trap a ball.

I know that I’m not good enough To make it on the team. If I were made of sterner stuff, I’d be a coach’s dream. But I’m too timid and afraid, I’ve bottled every game I’ve played, I always spoil the big parade, Eternal substitute. My father’s owner of the club, The coach is in […]

In the kingdom of Ostania, Life isn’t what it seems. People go to football games And cheer on both the teams. Nobody draws or loses, Its all the stuff of dreams. And the refs aren’t blind, They’re good and kind. They’re quite prepared To change their mind In the kingdom of Ostania. In the kingdom […]