Football Poets

There’s only one Archie
The Prince of Preston
The Earl of Derby
The Sheriff of Nottingham
Wispy haired , with deft of touch
The King of Scotland
when he slayed the Dutch
There’s only one Archie.

Cramp is soooo Sixties
Modern players don’t do cramp
They have cool injuries
Like metatarsals and ACLU’s
They do warm ups and warm downs
They Have personal masseurs and dietitians
They’re up to date on al […]

When millennials hear of Banksy
they think of the bloke who scrawls on walls
But when oldies think of Banksy
they remember the great goalie saving balls.
Of his heroic days at Wembley
especially in July of […]

I witnessed a commotion in my local saloon
With an Irish fan ranting and acting the loon
“They stole our potatoes
now they’re after our Rice.”
He was so agitated he screamed it out twice […]

Organizing – Pointing- Shouting Man-On
Where have all the great Captains gone?
Urging –Goading- heart on sleeve
When did all the great Captains leave?
Memories of Bremner and Mackay
For the cause pre […]

“ Can you imagine how nervous Lagos Aspas must feel?”
Cried the commentator
“It must be impossible to feel more nervous
If he misses they’re out.”

“Look how nervous those Argentinian fans are.”
Cri […]

Germans retreating from Russia
Without a tank or a snowflake in sight
Put out by the feisty Koreans
Who put up a way better fight

It wasn’t their first time in Russia
Nor the first time they’ve gone unp […]

Panama punished with six of the best
Didn’t do their homework and failed on their test
Three of those strikes came from the Kane
But hats off to Panama
they played through the pain
Two more strikes
from t […]

In a little Yorkshire village that Maggie helped destroy
A Grandfather meets his Grandson who’s no more a little boy
The Grand-son’s a millennial, born the year of ninety five
And his grand-dad’s nearly n […]

They call him the Greaves of the Orient
He comes from somewhere in Korea
And in defenders in England and Europe
He’s starting to instill mighty fear.

He won’t get the accolades of others
Like Deme Alle or E […]

“What’s your name lad?”
“Watt”
“What?”
“Yes Watt”
“What did you say?”
“Watt”
“Off you go lad – you don’t ‘What’ me
I’m a no nonsense referee.”
The coach came on, said “you’re ‘aving a larf
why you sendi […]

They said I lost the room
Where all the players dressed
Thanked me for all my efforts
And wished me all the best
My replacement then appeared
Just minutes after my sacking
Only two days after the Board
Had […]

July the first, the year of Sixteen
a day of death and terror,
a generation lost by brekky
cos tacticians made an error.
Pep talk from the Captain
who’s from the playing fields of Eton
he drills into his players […]

In the middle of heated football conversations dad would butt in.
“Now that fella Best is a great fella,” he’d say with authority.
Knew nowt ‘bout football did dad.

Where he was from football was frowned upon.
T […]

He was born in 1899, Bert Hislop was his name
and from the time he kicked a ball he was a natural for the game.
From a tiny Yorkshire village where the men worked down the pit
his father told him you won’t breathe […]

Mexico 1970

England the reigning champions, despite losing to Brazil,
Had reached the quarter finals and now had time to kill.

Sir Alf Ramsay got the squad together and gave them all a lecture
“I don’t exp […]

Ryan Giggs is all the rage
“Remember he’s forty years of age.”
To many Giggsy’s still the king
At forty he still rules the wing
Commentators drooling about his pace
“he got to forty with poise and grace.”
A […]

“ Excuse us Mr Finney,
we know later, you have a game,
but the outside toilet got blocked last night,
and there’s a problem with the drain.”

“I’ll make my way right over,”
said the great man from North End, […]