Football Poets

We’re selling young Bob to Chelsea
A deal has been proposed
But when the media ask, how much he cost
We’ll say it’s Undisclosed.

We won’t mention the carried injury
Our team doctor diagnosed
And if the tax […]

A mighty man of six feet three
And weighing fourteen stone
When Palace struggled in the First
John Jackson stood alone.

John (Stonewall) Jackson
Kept Palace up for years
How he never got an England cap
Is […]

Graham Taylor rolls in his Vicarage grave
As he hears how Watford sinned.
Elton puts his head in hands
And sings Candle in the Wind.

The International football break
They now call the Watford Gap
The […]

Was Banks as good as Jennings?
Was Ball as good as Bell?
Was Ray Clemence as good as Shilton?
Was Matt or Channon the King of the Dell?
Was Greavsie better than Denis Law?
Was Osgood better than […]

Some folks are their God botherers
Others bother hubby or the wife
Some folks bother no – body
They can’t be bothered much with life.

Football also has its botherers
They call a person baldy, blind or d […]

We’ll start with chairman Arthur WAITE
Who built us our New Stand
Got us up to the Old First in 69
And had the Palace future planned.

Then our Jewish winger Mark LAZURUS
Who down the right would cause s […]

Watched a moc-documentary last Friday night
An old one from Nineteen-Sixty-Six
About a young girl seeking fun and kicks
In the swinging Town of London.

Her name was Cathy Ward
She was young, spirited […]

CHRISTIAN Eriksen
HANS nurse back his medicine
jumps from bed and cheers

I know with predictions you can eat what you say
ENGLAND EXPECTS
Things to go – England’s way

But here’s what I think
coach Southgate will preach
When they lose in the quarters
then head to the bea […]

A politician from Ireland
Was asked for his views
How did his country
to Luxembourg lose?

He thought for a while
Before he decided
That the country
Of Luxembourg
Should be divided.

He announced with […]

The strike of a thunderbolt blasts past Heaven’s Gates
and God says to Jack Charlton
“‘ere’s one of your mates,
I know Trevor and Norman
will be both happy too,”
as he nods to Saint Peter
to let Lorimer […]

Some players are born to ramble
Others play for just one side
Bobby Kellard played for eight different teams
And led them all with pride.

Robert Sydney William Kellard
A north Londoner by birth
A born and […]

Diego dribbled up to heaven
Where he met Saint Peter at the gate.
who looked at his credentials
And said “give me a minute mate.”

He then came back from God’s room
Saying, “I’m sorry but you’re banned […]

Graeme Souness, of his keeper
Brad Friedel did rave
As he acknowledged his brilliance
for an exceptional save.
“If it were nae for Brad,
Blackburn would have got hammered today
It was only himself that kept […]

“Why are you putting on cricket pads?”
says God to old Saint Pete.
“Cos Norman Hunter’s coming up
and he’s dangerous with his feet.

We’ll put him on Cloud number Six
where he can hang his England Caps on […]

As Bob sat in his mum’s furnished basement
Watching re-runs of ‘Murder She Wrote’
On to a small piece of paper
to himself he wrote
a wee note.

“Remember to change over the channel
Make sure you do […]

As passengers moaned and writhed with pain
some were saved by Harry
from Coleraine.
As injured victims for life did beg
back into the plane dived Harry Gregg.

A Man United and Northern Ireland great
A […]