Ode To All Would Be Footballers Wives ( Re-Visited)
so what’s so wrong about wanting yeah
to marry a big soccer star
and what’s so wrong about shed-loads of money
and shed- loads of clothes and a car
cause you know what you get when you’re sorted
with you nice little footballer man
you get fat weekly wages for starters
that bring in at least forty grand
and the chance to live somewhere in essex
in a typically mock tudor home
with totally footballer furniture
just a nice massive place of your own
yeah cos i need a guy with the minimum taste
and footballers sure fit the picture
and maybe they’re not all that clever upstairs
but i tell ya they don’t come much richer
yeah and i need a guy who goes fishing
or maybe plays golf at the worst
one who dishes out diamonds and oners
whenever he open his purse
one who opens up big supermarkets
and leaves me alone on weekends
so i can go clubbing while he is away
with one of his nice pop star friends
yeah and i’d like to get off with giggsy
or that david beckham he’d do
maybe drive in a roller with david ginola
or lovely les ferdinand too
but i’d draw the line if they’re married
i don’t want no grief in my life
i wanna go far in the sun or the star
but not being chased by some wife
and i’d never shack up with gazza
or jason shampoo macateer
no i wanna live with a nice soccer star
and i reckon that i’m getting there
but theres only one problem that bugs me
and i feel i’m a bit of a joke
its like i’m heading this ball up against some brick wall
because i’m not a girl im a bloke
© Crispin Thomas 2002
Foot(ball) Note
The new series “Footballers Wives”,shown this week on terrestrial tv,prompted the topical re-appearance of this poem.First written after a documentatry on the same subject some time back..it also appears in the Channel 4 publication “Writing For Kicks” Resource Book .This publication accompanied a series of television programmes
on Channel 4,of the same name,shown on October 2001, which we were delighted to be a part of.More elsewehere on this site somewhere soon as our workshop side expands (hopefully?).The book is aimed primarily at 11-14 year olds and has great in-put from Jim Sweetman,Ian McMillan and more.For more info go to
www.4learning.co.uk/secondary
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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Latest Poems
Clik The Mouse
28th March 2024
Crispin Thomas
28th March 2024
joe morris
25th March 2024
Rowan Waller
24th March 2024
Mike Bartram
23rd March 2024
joe morris
21st March 2024
kevin halls
18th March 2024
Richard Williams
18th March 2024
joe morris
18th March 2024
Denys E. W. Jones
17th March 2024
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
19th March 2024 at 8:00 am
Hi Crispin. Chris Sutton on the radio has gone for a Chelsea v Coventry final. As we know anything can happen in the Cup, and I reckon we can go to the final.
We’re still in with a chance of the play offs too, so lots to go for.
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19th March 2024 at 7:41 am
Hey Kev
Let the masses drool over their odds on City v Unted Final, but who knows how pressure can hit.
Cov and Chels will be rightly labelled as having no chance..but hey …stranger things have happened..
so Chelsea v Coventry…that’s the Final for us!
Best
C
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29th January 2024 at 10:03 pm
Hi Crispin,
How are you doing mate? Yes, you’re probably right but hey football is all about emotion and passion and I just love writing about the game. I try to keep my poetry to a reasonable length but there’s so much to write about the game and its literature just lends itself naturally to poetry. Sometimes I just get completely carried and I do apologise for the length of my poetry but it’s a great thrill to be associated with Football Poets.
Cheers mate
Joe
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10th January 2024 at 7:52 pm
You’re right of course Joe but…..it’s actually more of a big welcome break for everyone who is not into Premier League ..I’m talking fans of EFL National League and below…..
Btw …is this actually your longest poem ever !?
Best
Crispin
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8th January 2024 at 4:45 pm
Thanks!
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8th January 2024 at 10:42 am
There’s something so evocative and nostalgic for football fans the world over, in ‘revisiting’ old lost grounds.
Occasionally some remnants remain, with perhaps part of a wall or part or a stand or thre shape of a terrace, but often they are only still there in faded images and in our heads..
Great stuff Graham
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4th January 2024 at 10:13 am
A great idea and well executed. Thanks Graham.
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19th November 2023 at 1:45 pm
Thanks Gacina, glad you liked it, and I have just posted a new one about our points deduction…
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7th November 2023 at 6:34 pm
Today B.B.C post on F.B was titled:Premier League reduced to 18 clubs? I really think it may be interesting to see if this would be Everton’s nightmare and this poem is well suited for this concern.If there would be more difficult battle to stay if there were 18 teams.Great poem and somehow true.
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6th November 2023 at 4:43 pm
Ashington FC have launched a £50,000 Crowdfunder appeal to meet the increased costs of winning promotion last season, to pay for urgent stadium improvements, travel costs and equipment
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