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A Game of 4 Halves

Ang Xjus

Thursday, March 7th, 2002

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Anxious, of the effects of dehydration
During the acclaimed, World Cup occasion
FIFA, in their wisdom, and with infinite mercy
(and no doubt – a doffing of the cap, a deferential curtsy,
a greasing of the palm and the promise of no harm)
Are / were, thinking of introducing two ‘time outs’ – with minimal fuss
‘Water breaks’, an inception if you like, delivering unto us
The birth of a new age, in televised soccer
And so this latest, front page headline shocker
Will mean it’s not just Korean canines, nor underdogs, to the slaughter
The ninety seconds will be filled, not by shots of sloshed water
Dribbling down chins and sweat soaked chests
But near naked women, scantily clad, almost full view breasts
As producers, serial seducers, deliver, all-a-quiver
Extra time advertising – products of any manly ilk
Invasive smut, not for flimsy clothing, like silk
Or the benefits of breast feeding
Or how to mask menstrual bleeding
Nor cancer awareness, although in fairness
Bodily cleansing products, such as soaps, gels, lotions
All manner of beauty enhancing potions
Could counter claims of ‘sexploitation’
But will it all add, to the frenzied excitation
Of the World’s premier carnival? – the football’s enough
Show it warts and all, how even the toughest of the tough
Require thirst aid, however over paid
Keep the cameras glued to the pitch
Let us see every muscular twitch
So that we may learn, and assimilate
Best medical practices, as we participate
Onlookers for now, but we’ll all want to play, at the end of the day.
Prudence prompts, FIFA’s Taskforce camp
To investigate proactive measures, to prevent cramp
And so it is, that on the pretext, for to save the calves
We conceivably face the future : a Game of 4 Halves

Notes

prompted by reports of FIFA considering adding two ninety second breaks during each half of each game, at the World Cup 2002. Coupled with the worry that these could become convenient commercial breaks for tv.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/a-game-of-4-halves/