if benches, were trenches
would we as soon leap to our feet
or so stoically accept defeat?
if buns, were guns
would we still have the stomach for a fight
to stand up and battle, for what we believe is right?
if Bristols, were pistols
would we still welcome the local duels, the derbies
continue to encourage gender neutrality, boys playing with barbies?
if bets, were jets
what odds, would we put on the good side winning
would we gamble, on seeing the deserved victors grinning?
if fines, were mines, buried beneath the field of play
could we afford to pay, the price
of tackling, such an explosive device?
if beers, were fears
would we still be as happy, to drown all our sorrows
to lie back, and forget about all our tomorrows?
and so I give thanks, for tanks
and for all those who fought in two world wars
but still I pray to God, that there’ll be no more bloody cause