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The dietician told him that it all went on his hips,
Those evil carbohydrates that are found in soggy chips.
They act upon the body like great anchors do to ships,
And so it was imperative they never passed his lips.
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The footballer looked puzzled, he had never come to grips
With seeing the importance of these dietary trips,
Where nutritional advice was meted out in little quips
That ripped his style of living into lean and healthy strips.
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Sure, couldn’t he still punish any last defender’s slips,
And celebrate each goal with a long series of back flips?
And all this talk of heart disease and ending up on drips
Paled to insignificance when faced with garlic dips.