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All these things are foul

non humphries

Thursday, November 22nd, 2007

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 KMAS in a shootout,
sudden death,
blatant outfield diving,
players baiting the ref.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Getting booked for celebrating,
cynical challenges late and high,
linesmen who don’t know the offside rule,
teams that role over and die.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Foul and abusive language,
teams that play for a draw,
racist and indecent windups,
teams that can’t keep the ball on the floor.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Fans who boo their own team,
the new “star striker” who can’t play for heck,
metatarsals in general,
the horrible injuries to Cudicini and Cech.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The yuppie fan with a prawn sandwich,
Graham Poll,
managers who question everything,
that endless yellow card toll.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 A defensive wall that won’t link arms,
players complaing about what they earn,
plastic pitches and astro,
flaiming friction burns.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 That horrible out-swinning corner,
(stay on your line and expect the unexpected),
clearances landing beautifully for forwards,
defensive headers that are wretched.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Ostentatious mastery of the step-over,
precise textbook crosses to deserted clumps of grass,
one-on-ones which are VERY offside,
that arrogant winger who refuses to pass.

Notes

a rip off of “all these things are vile” but there you go

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/all-these-things-are-foul/