|

At-tax Late Returns

Crispin Thomas

Monday, January 31st, 2011

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I’m glad I’m not the only one
who struggles to begin it
I’m very Premier League and leave
it all to the last minute

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I’m adding up expenses
that wouldn’t pay their meals
but when it comes to late-night stress
I know just how it feels
it’s ebay auction time out there
while I’m still in the office
it’s 10pm and I’m online
the amateur tax novice

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 at-tax need to be strengthened
from the Bridge to Liverpool
and up there in Newcastle
you’d have to be a fool
to turn down silly money
it’s like it’s Christmas Eve
on Twitter Rio thinks it’s mad
how much some clubs receive

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I’ve got my special input code
it just arrived today
thank God I don’t need medicals
to fire it on its way
a hundred pounds the fine I’ll pay
if this one fails to send
meanwhile elsewhere a hundred mill*
is very nearly spent

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 I’m glad I’m not the only one
who struggles to begin it
I’m very Premier League and leave
it all to the last minute

© CT11

Notes

On the day Cov Kev hits 100 poems ….I could be 100 quid down by tomorrow!

Sitting here at 10pm on the deadline night for tax and transfers (Jan 31st.) I’m doing my self-employed part time poet/ gig arranger tax returns, trying to avoid the £100 fine for late submissions. So stressful. I used to be so organised. It’s like this – right: you have to get a code (that takes a week to arrive) and it finally arrived this morning by post.

Meanwhile Chelsea and Liverpool between them transpire to spend over 100 million in one night. Slightly different levels eh? Leaving Newcastle (supposedly) 4 hours to set up a replacement..It’s like the houses chain when you try to move. Football money madness…whatever. More imprtantly though (getting back to to that hundred quid.. which is coincidentally how much it costs me b.t.w to get from here to Stamford Bridge and into the ground -inclusive of programme).

So what I want to know is…if my returns don’t arrive electronically in time, do you think those lovely footie fans at the Inland Revenue would accept “…Hi..sorry…it’s been a bit busy on the ol’ Football Poetry site. We got swamped with 4 poems today?” as an excuse for lateness. Thoughts?

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/at-tax-late-returns/