Ballad of a Frustrated Shelbourne Fan
¶ 1
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I painted the shed,
And buttered her bread,
I brought her up toast and
Some coffee in bed.
¶ 2
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I read her some prose
From a book that she chose,
And bought her a single,
Expensive red rose.
¶ 3
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I let her sleep late,
While I cleaned out the grate,
I made sure her clothes in
The wardrobe hung straight.
¶ 4
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I punctured her blister,
And let her win Twister,
And didn’t make one
Single pass at her sister.
¶ 5
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I rubbed her back twice,
When once would suffice,
And told her I thought that
Her haircut looked nice.
¶ 6
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I worked extra hours
And bought her some flowers,
And cleaned out the bath when
She’d finished her showers.
¶ 7
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I poured her some hock
At eleven o’clock,
And gave her some money to
Buy a new frock.
¶ 8
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Yes, I gave it my best,
But sadly Celeste
Forbade me from trav’lling
To Steaua Bucharest.
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