William Shakespeare played left back
For Stratford Academicals,
But had to give it up, alack!
From inhaling dodgy chemicals.
Bereft now of his football pay,
Dire poverty grew nearer,
So he set about to write a play
Called “Romeo and Vera.”
When done, he went to Father Birch
For blessing and permission
To perform it in the Stratford church,
With just one intermission.
Father Birch agreed, but gave
Young Will a small suggestion,
He felt the left wing of the nave
Would help relieve congestion.
But when the night came round, poor Will
Was worrying and fretting,
For he was nervous and was still
Unsure about the setting.
The right wing of the nave, he thought,
Would suit the play much better,
[Clearly William was the sort
Who lived life as a fretter.]
Eventually he got his way,
With input from his brother,
And very quickly switched the play
From one wing to the other.