Beyond the Hours of Boozy Going-down Riot

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Beyond the hours of boozy going-down riot
There dawned a morn of relegation quiet
With punters taking five to face the day
And get their heads round Div 1, Leeds? No way!

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The atmosphere in Peter Lorimer’s pub
Was quite enough to make a tough Tyke blub
It must be said the mood was far from smashing
With fans recalling many a heavy thrashing

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 That footie is the riskiest of ventures
Bethought old-timers sucking on their dentures
Leeds grand delusion that they’re Euro rankers
Has disappeared in struggles with their bankers

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 And though Don Revie was a splendid chap
To change the colours smacked of total crap
Resemblance to Madrid was never real
Survival in the top flight’s more the deal

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 In 92 Leeds won the championship
In retrospect that’s something of a blip
Since then we’ve seen the big names come and go
And not a lot of ee-i-addio

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 The Board enjoy support ahem ahem
A vote of thanks is clearly due to them
On Look North Krasner tried to mend a fence
But other members weren’t in evidence

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 It took 5 years to get back last time round
But now Leeds need a few more million pound
But hey, what’s coming down by parachute?
It’s 7 million quid of extra loot

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 That’s just about the rough equivalent
Of interest on the debt at 12 per cent
Or possibly some 3 or 4 months wages
Whichever view you take it won’t last ages

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 It hit the pitch with quite a lightweight thud
And didn’t seriously disturb the mud
To pick it up was hardly worth the trouble
With assets worth far more as builder’s rubble

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Let’s face it footie’s now a numbers game
We wring our hands and it’s a crying shame
But numbers just will not be contradicted
And playing staff will have to be evicted

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 The Prem is in a tight financial grip
We’re all together on this money trip
Well now we face a time of reckoning
The spectral liquidator’s beckoning

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 The bottom line demands Leeds face hard facts
And get out of those terrible contracts
Plus now they need another source of wedge
To stop the Club from falling off the edge

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 They’d better sort a strategy toot sweet
Or punters will be voting with their feet
Those assets really must be made to sweat
Or liquidation looks a certain bet

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 It’s been a season of the highest drama
Here’s hoping through the Summer things get calmer
But if the outlook starts to turn quite ugly
The Gelderd mob will all be watching rugby

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Now Leicester have their options one two three
Go straight back up, stay put or whoopee whee!
We don’t want Leeds to go into free fall
Recovery mode’s devoutly wished by all!



This epic has been gestating for a while. I’m trying
to make some points about the state of the “top
flight” on the back of Leeds predicament. I feel the
Leeds Chronicle of 2003 tells us a lot about where
things have gone wrong in the Prem. Personally I’m
totally sick of it all and can’t afford to watch the
game anyway. Newcastle stumbled at the last fence,
due to devastating injuries but basically were
outplayed by Marseilles. How many teams do we have
that can be called Euro rankers? Chelsea didn’t get
their title at the first shot, so out goes Ranieri –
ok then – but what does that tell you about loyalty?
Liverpool are taking the money men’s shilling from
I recommend you read parklife by Nick Varley, who says
it all much better than I can.

Krasner is a Leeds director who took time to appear on
BBC Look North. None of the others bothered.

Leicester’s 3 relegation strategies are featured in
the last verse. “ Whoopee Whee” of course denotes
further relegation from Division 1.

June 2004

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/beyond-the-hours-of-boozy-going-down-riot/