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I woke up this morning.
I crawled out of bed.
Felt sick as a parrot.
Half wished I was dead.
I e-mailed my boss.
I served up an excuse.
I couldn’t face goin’ in to work,
‘Cos I’d got the Bluenose Blues.
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We lost the Christmas Derby.
Now we’ve got beat in March.
You can hear the ‘Pool fans laffin’
All the way to Marble Arch.
There’s a bright sun shinin’.
But my mood is black as night.
‘Cos them low-down, cotton-pickin’ Koppites
Have bagged the bragging rights!
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I got a top-notch Kwaka.
Got a Harley too.
Pretty wimmin lustin’ for me,
Lined up in a queue.
That many suits in my wardrobe,
I don’t know which to choose.
But my Team got licked at Anfield,
So I got them Bluenose Blues.
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You got dumped by your Judy?
Someone swiped your suede shoes?
You’re laid up with the measles,
The mumps or the flu?
You got a king-size hangover,
‘Cos you went out on the booze?
You should count yourself lucky –
You ain’t got the Bluenose Blues.