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Bog Smacked..Stand Up & Vote

Crispin Thomas

Friday, November 11th, 2011

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 it’s easy up in Manchester
at City and Man U
you’re spoilt for choice at Chelski
and hardly have to queue
at Arsenal and Tottenham
it’s very nice there too
but when you venture down the leagues
beware the dreaded loo…

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 those classic breeze-block toilets
are different there it’s true
urinals in the open air
I’ve savoured one or two
there ought to be a ‘Rough-Bog Guide’
to get the warnings through
especially in the wee wee hours
when some have had a few

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 but now at last the chance has come
we bring you wondrous news
they’re voting in their numbers
for football’s baddest loos!
“yeah right” you say ..but honest..
it’s really really true
the winner gets a hundred grand
and think what that could do?

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 no more the empty holder
with nothing there at hand
no need to take your programme
just leave it in the stand
imagine running water
a mirror maybe too
a door that shuts and even locks
when desperate for a poo

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 it’s easy up at Liverpool
at Villa .. Fulham too
you’re spoilt for choice at Sports Direct
and barely have to queue
at Sunderland and Boro
I know it’s nice there too
but if you’re caught-short down the leagues
please save your dreaded loo…

© CT11

Notes

Vote now and don’t ‘Loos’ out (ouch)..This is true…I’m bog smacked!

(NB There are only certain clubs nominated.. I’ve voted for poor old money-less/Peter Reed-less Plymouth Argyle, having worked there and savoured the loos. .I did find it hard ..being able to view the ‘catchpa’ at the bottom that you have to fill in. I had to reduce the screen size to see it!. Ebbsfleet currently in the lead but looks a bit iffy to me!)

The competition to discover the English football ground with the worst toilets is happening now.. you can vote til Jan 5th ! The ‘Best Loo-sers’ competition is offering a £100,000 toilet makeover for the club with the worst in the UK .But beware guys..no cheating.. seriously as vote rigging is suspected..and your club’s bog could ‘loos’ out !

Info and link courtesy of The Guradian :
Football Toilets – Vote Rigging The Guardian

The best Loo-Sers Competition Vote now for your club….don’t let your club go down the toilet.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/bog-smacked-stand-up-vote/