Football Poets

Boris- more rugby than football

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Does the Prime Minister
Understand the finer
Nuances of football,
Its grammar and language
Its all- conquering vocabulary
Boris, we know
You’re more of the oval
Rugby union type
But can you grasp
The history, the
Ancestry of when
You were an Old
Etonian, since they
Were the game’s
Trailblazers,
Pioneering FA
Cup
Torch bearers
Forerunners of
Push and run
Pass and move
Deep lying inside
Forwards
The recognisable
Driving force
Of its origins
But Boris supports
Nobody but himself
Thinks of only him
Or maybe we’ve got
It wrong
He voices his
Approval of Gareth
Southgate’s England
Because patriotism
Suits him down to
The ground
But nobody knows
Whether Manchester
City, Liverpool, Spurs,
Chelsea or United
Make his weekend
Or indeed VAR is
Beyond his understanding
A hazy mist on his
Landscape
And then there was
The indecipherable
Puzzle that is pressing,
Free kick artistry
As illustrated yesterday
By James Ward Prowse
But probably not the Saints
So Boris pins his colours
To a London centric mast
Chelsea, perhaps fashionable
As the capital city
Wealth in every corner
Of Stamford Bridge
Harbour, village and
The Russian chairman
Who never speaks
To anyone, a voiceless
Presence
But Boris has much
Old Etonian eloquence
In his possession
Stories of Latin but no
Sign of any knowledge
Of tracking back
Sitting deep,
Hitting clinically
On the break
Possibly Spurs
But then he questions
The instinctive push and
Run of Arthur Rowe
And Bill Nick, yet
Boris, this was a team
Of arts and crafts
No need to wonder
Why
Or the claret and blue
Of West Ham
Purveyors of the 66
World Cup masterclass
England’s finest hour
Moore, Hurst and Peters
It should be a school
Examination, an academic
Subject
As pleasing to the ear
As the first robin
When morning calls
So Boris please inform
Us in all your eccentricity
Whether your team
Plays through the lines
Or doesn’t
Perhaps the practicalities
Of the game are more
To your liking
Driving in crosses
The long, diagonal ball
That makes the fans
Swoon with delight
Get that ball into
The box now,
No hesitation
Boris, we need
To know
Do you really
Follow
The Beautiful Game

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