I’m the affable Under 8’s manager,
I work very well with the young,
But I don’t think its fair
I don’t get my fair share,
For I’ve never been offered a bung.
When we’re losing a match very heavily,
They might feel the lash of my tongue,
For a new minibus
Could’ve done things for us
If we’d only been offered a bung.
The kids run around like commandos,
So strong both in heart and in lung,
But I’d make them feel tired
If it just once transpired
That the other team offered a bung.
The adult teams get all the action,
Despite accusations they’ve flung
I need a few bob
Supplementing my job
But nobody will offer a bung.
Perhaps my psychology’s faulty,
I’ve never consulted Carl Jung.
But this threadbare coach
Welcomes any approach –
Is there no-one who’ll offer a bung.
Perhaps they’re afraid of the fraud squad,
Some others have ended up stung,
But I have read the script
And my mouth is well zipped,
So, come on boys, give me a bung.