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Captain Blubber

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 When you lose in a Champions League Final,
The Captain should take it with strength,
Not blub like a leaky urinal
And cry, cry and cry at great length.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 He should put a strong arm round your shoulder
And help put defeat in perspective,
Be steady and strong as a boulder
And help to deflect the invective.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Put personal disappointment behind him,
And help to console all his peers.
He should not need a wet nurse to mind him,
And dry his unstoppable tears.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 In Moscow, the captain showed clearly
He hasn’t great leadership qualities
And I’ve always maintained that, sincerely,
Long before all these scurrilous jollities.

2

Notes

To be honest, I’ve never liked the man. I think he’s a nasty, dirty footballer and his habit of bawling his eyes out after every big defeat makes me question why so many people think he makes a great captain.
See also http://www.footballpoets.org/p.asp?Id=23557

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/captain-blubber/