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Captain Blubber

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 When you lose in a Champions League Final,
The Captain should take it with strength,
Not blub like a leaky urinal
And cry, cry and cry at great length.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 He should put a strong arm round your shoulder
And help put defeat in perspective,
Be steady and strong as a boulder
And help to deflect the invective.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Put personal disappointment behind him,
And help to console all his peers.
He should not need a wet nurse to mind him,
And dry his unstoppable tears.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 In Moscow, the captain showed clearly
He hasn’t great leadership qualities
And I’ve always maintained that, sincerely,
Long before all these scurrilous jollities.

14

Notes

To be honest, I’ve never liked the man. I think he’s a nasty, dirty footballer and his habit of bawling his eyes out after every big defeat makes me question why so many people think he makes a great captain.
See also http://www.footballpoets.org/p.asp?Id=23557

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/captain-blubber/