The draw for the FAI Cup, Second Round,
Had just been made on television,
And down in the Leesiders’ Cork City ground,
They viewed the event with suspicion.
For Cork had been handed a difficult draw,
Although they’d been first out the hat,
And there were conspiracy theories galore,
Though none of them started by Pat.
Those bastards who live up in Merrion Square,
Who seem to do nothing but talk,
Have fiddled the draw, for its obvious they’re
Incredibly biased ‘gainst Cork.
And every time City should lose in a game,
It can always be traced to the ref.
For he’ll listen, when Dublin teams point out the blame,
But to Cork protestations, he’s deaf.
Just check out the stats, going back through the seasons,
Refs never give Cork a decision,
And that is just one of the myriad reasons
Why Cork fans treat refs with derision.
Never a penno, and never a free,
Never a dodgy offside,
In fact, there’s a rumour that one referee
Deflected a goalbound shot wide.
For Cork are the greatest, all credit to Pat,
And should win at home or away.
The fact that they don’t, seems to indicate that
There’s mysterious forces at play.
Pats are obsessive and Rovers are scum,
Shels are both scum and obsessive,
Crowe isn’t worthy to wipe O’Flynn’s bum
And Hawkins and Hunt aren’t impressive.
O’Flynn is a God and O’Callaghan too,
While Woodsy is gutsy and fiery,
But the playing field just isn’t level or true,
There should be a public enquiry.
Oh, down by the Leeside, they all worship Pat,
In fact, he’s the second Messiah,
But its becoming more patently obvious that
His opponents just plot and conspire.
This Turnersgate scandal is bound to come out,
The entire despicable story,
How one soccer team, who were lacking in clout,
Were robbed of their fame and their glory.
Oh, well might Pat threaten, if Cork are defeated,
To go out and hire a lawyer,
For it’s perfectly clear that his team are being cheated,
Its definitely not paranoia.