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The outside right, to get his kicks,
Adorned the giant crucifix
With stones he’d bought (for several quid)
Quite evenly distributed.
These rocks, attached with laccy bands,
He guaged precisely in his hands,
Before he slowly did affix
Them onto the large crucifix.
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He then decided to donate
It to his centre-forward mate,
And brought it to him as a gift
To give the luckless man a lift.
And thus, without a sense of loss,
Delivered the perfectly-weighted cross.