There’s breaking news on Christian Bale
He’s having a medical at Port Vale.
And there’s updates too from Aston Villa
Who’ve agreed a fee for Sienna Miller.
“Harry Redknapp’s on the phone,
He’s made a bid for Sharon Stone!”
Jim White screams in disbelief:
“Omar Sharif’s joined Cowdenbeath!”
The clock is ticking for Greenock Morton
To try and agree terms with Edward Norton.
But there’s happy tidings for fans of Crewe
Who’ve done a deal for Lucy Liu.
The camera crews are at Tranmere
Where a move’s in the offing for Richard Gere
And Sky Sports sources are pretty sure
That Roger Moore’s left Stenhousemuir.