Football Poets

Dirty John – A Cautionary Tale

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 to reach the top is very hard
you have to start in your backyard
or any spot of grass or land
that may arise or come to hand
for footballers come two a penny
and obstacles are large and many
and if by chance you make the grade
it matters not how well you played
if you cannot behave yourself
you’ll promptly end up on the shelf
and you will end up broke – alone
like Dirty John as he was known

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 for so it was with Johnnie who
gave not a care for me or you
or those who came to see him play
or those who paid him day by day
where every team and every fan
expects the best from every man
and not behaviour like a child
but Johnnie drove supporters wild
with constant sneaky digs and kicks
he’d always end up in a fix
with arms all waving baby like
til red cards sent him on his bike
they tried so hard to calm him down
with privacy inside the ground
they plied him with the very best
and cars much bigger than the rest
but still he winged and cried and moaned
in spite of all he had and owned

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 his lovely Essex Tudor pad
the homes he bought for mum and dad
the gorgeous girls upon his arm
who all ignored his lack of charm
or gratefulness for anything
apart from wardrobes full of ‘bling’
the throwing up in Mayfair streets
and watering holes of the elite
the punches thrown at cameramen
as he was stumbling home again
the shady friends who clung like flies
who disappear when stardom dies
for John forgot it’s short you see
the life of a celebrity

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 for John was not a spritely lad
he made the best of what he had
in sunshine he was good as gold
but woe betide him in the cold
for come November and December
our John would always lose his temper
he’d dive and scream in open play
on any dreaded Saturday
with tantrums at the slightest touch
our John was really just too much
the drinking took away the pain
but swiflty brought it back again
and soon our John could barely cope
as he became a tabloid joke

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 in photographs he smiled and preened
but way down deep there lurked a fiend
who found too soon that we must learn
to not upon our feeders turn
he’d shout and yell at referees
if someone brushed against his knees
his constant circus leaps and falling
was at times well quite apalling
and every club that he signed for
would quickly show our John the door

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 so listen well should you embark
from playground back-yard street or park
and dream to grace this modern game
with all its trappings and its fame
and you’d do well to take advice
for no-one there will warn you twice
and if by chance you make the grade
it matters not how well you played
if you cannot behave yourself
you’ll promptly end up on the shelf
and you will end up broke ..alone
like dirty John as he was known

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