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Dodgy Keeper!

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 To dodgy keepers everywhere:
beware the home supporters’ lair;
you know, the end they tend to favour
from where they watch you labour;
down towards the front they flock,
they never miss a chance to mock;
your every move is analysed
( Oh, please give me a break, you guys! )
and when you make your first mistake
they’ll be lying there in wait:
gales of laughter reach your ears
enough to reduce grown men to tears.
They doubt your parentage and worse
in a comic little verse,
in a little parody
which they chant with so much glee.
Pacing your goal like a tiger ( caged )
trying to contain your rage
coursing through your every vein,
making you feel quite insane.
Now they doubt your sexuality
even though you have three
kids from your first wife, Sue;
it’s enough to make you spew.
Uh! Oh! The ball’s gone out of play
( and you know you’re not gay)
It’s spiralled out for a corner;
the crowd are about to warn yer
that a six foot six gorilla’s coming-
now the mob is really humming.
You can feel electricity
running up and down your knee.
You might have to catch the thing
with the crowd about to sing
and you know that you will drop it,
there’s nothing you can do to stop it,
but before you even know it
the centre half has toed it
into the back of empty net –
has to be the best feeling yet.
They’ll now be haranguing him
and in the midst of all this din,
this complete crescendo of noise,
you note that you’ve regained your poise;
you can hold your head up high –
the crowd have found a new fall guy!

9

Notes

Altogether now: “Dodgy keeper! Dodgy keeper! Dodgy keeper!” Don’t ya just love ’em ( Especially when they help your relegation haunted favourite team get three points!! )

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/dodgy-keeper/