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Don’t go changing, Duncan

Denys E. W. Jones

Friday, January 14th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 You ain’t no oil painting, we can’t deny it’s true.
But you’re pretty as a picture when you’re kitted out in blue.
With your toothless grin, and your stud-marked shins, and your EFC tattoo.
So, don’t go changing, Duncan, that’s our plea.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I wouldn’t care to meet you down an alley late at night.
I heard your old schoolteachers say you weren’t exactly bright.
Yet I’d love to have you on my side if I got into a fight.
Oh, don’t go changing, Duncan, stay the same.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 A powder-keg, you’re all set to explode.
A time-bomb primed, you tick, tick, tick away.
Volcano-like, just itching to erupt.
Dear Duncan, please don’t change your style of play.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 You’re handy with your elbows, you headbutt like a ram.
They flash red cards before your nose, but you don’t give a damn.
You punch like a piledriver and kick like a young colt.
Now don’t you dare change, Duncan, ‘cos you’re worth your weight in gold!

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 You’re sure no choirboy, Duncan – you’re a brawny Big Bad Lad.
Though it ain’t your fault if you get sent off, it’s them refs who’re all half mad.
You’re up there ‘longside Vinnie Jones, Di Canio, Cantona.
No, don’t change, Dunc, we beg you – we adore as you are…

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 15/1/05
Denys E. W. Jones

© 15/1/05

Notes

Footballers of the choirboy school, such as Gary Lineker, are admirable sportsmen, but let’s face it, Richmal Crompton’s William is a lot more fun than Little Lord Fauntelroy, so let’s hear it for the Bad Boys! Here is a poem to mark Duncan Ferguson’s seventh red card in the Premiership, which he picked up during the match against Charlton on Tuesday 28th December 04. I actually wrote this a couple of days later, but, for technical reasons, am only releasing it now…

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/dont-go-changing-duncan/