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“Police Leave Cancelled For Final o’ Euro-nations“,
Wary Britalians body-swerve their local Trat
Packed trains lumber in to Central London stations
Soused sardines, stagger-out, streaming to…the match.
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A drunken Herbert, stood trying to hail a sherbet
Can’t grasp his being ignored at early dawn,
“Taxi!, I wanna meet da chaps at Oxford Circus”,
Midst a very public technicolour West-End yawn.
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Charing Cross Road deemed off-limits
An anti-Boris Johnson protest march, perhaps?
“Nah Kev, there’s over eight hours to kick-off innit
They’re here, to get in the mood to watch…the match”.
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Jewish fella, travelling down on the London tube
Looked absolutely terrified for his life
Surrounded, filmed being verbally abused?
By anti-Semites, sporting Ingaland shirts, the other night.
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We’ve sherbet’s trashed, buses smashed
Members of The Met under serious attack
By moronic Ingaland fans, and let’s face facts
Most weren’t kids on a jolly, after…the match.
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Danish family, post a gutting semi-final
Travelling home from the game by bus
Threatened by a Neanderthal bunch a tribal’s
and we wonder why, no-one in Europe takes to us?
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Still, we’re in the final, nothing else matters?
Let’s all seize the day, partake in the nations fun?
I don’t wish to rip our on-field achievements in to tatters
But our troubles above are a result (sic) of when…we’ve won?
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Gareth Southgate being hailed as an Uber mensch
He’s up for a knight-hood (if we win today) and rightly so
Yet what happens, say we get beat, and as a consequence
Of obnoxious partisans, we’re banned from appearing at…The Show?
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I don’t expect this downer of a poem to be published, being realistic,
In fact, I don’t give a flying fluff either way?
Though warned earlier, “Avoid Up West, they’re going ballistic”,
On the day of a match?! Suggests I best take heed what family say.