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Effin’ a Cuckoo

Peter Goulding

Tuesday, September 7th, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 “Step into my office,” said the ostrich to the rhea.
“I want to have a little chat about your future here.
It’s time we had a little chat and sorted out some things.”
The rhea sat down in the chair and folded up its wings.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 “You’re till a decent goalie, lad,” the older bird continued.
“You’ve kept your body in good shape, you’re muscly and well-sinewed.
But you’re prone to silly errors which could drive one to distraction.
I haven’t been too happy with our recent rhea-guard action…”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 “You mean I’m being shown the door?” the other answered slowly.
“For ten long years I’ve served in my capacity as goalie.
And now I have a bad luck streak, which sadly has persisted,
And suddenly I get the bird – old rhea’s transfer listed.”

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 “Not at all, you feathered oink!” the manager replied.
“I still regard you as a worthwhile asset to the side.
I’ve gone and signed a cuckoo, though, who’s showing great potential.
The chance for me to sign him up was really providential.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 ‘He’s young and raw, and that is why its you that I’m approaching
To help me lick him into shape and give him special coaching.
Experience is what he lacks, and you can surely bring it.
You’ll find it pretty easy, I’m convinced that you can wing it.”

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Mollified, the rhea smiled, and nodded his assention,
But then he had a sudden thought that caused him apprehension.
“My head’s not buried in the sand,” he said, “but please be clear,
Which of us is going to be the first choice goalie here?”

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 The ostrich didn’t speak awhile, but strutted up and down.
“A difficult decision,” he imparted with a frown.
“The cuckoo’s more athletic and his range of skills is broader.
I’m sorry, son, but you will find you’re down the pecking order.”

© Peter Goulding 7th September 2004

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/effin-a-cuckoo/?shared=email&msg=fail