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As me seat came in view, I was puzzled just who
Had left an envelope on me seat
Were they advertising next seasons increases already?
If so me heart near missed a beat
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T’was with some trepidation and a slight hesitation
I opened the envelope quick
T’was not about an increase in the seat prices next term
But a bunch of score cards very thick
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Each one was like the ones on the telly
That one would see in say the Olympics
You know the ones I mean where the judges deem
Who’s dived properly or who’s flopped on their bellies!
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Can a fourteen stone geezer be pole axed by a breeze sir?
To obtain what’s a quite unfair pen
Will we soon see the day when both sets of fans have a say
In accompanying a red card with a white a card
Saying “For diving he gets eight out of ten”?