Eleven in the Mornin’

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I went into a public house around two fifty-five.
I ordered half a pint of beer, a steak and kidney pie.
I asked the landlord: “Tell me, Sir, ain’t there a match on soon?
It’s almost three, have I still time to pop into the loo?”

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The landlord looked at me and said: “There’s nowt so queer as folk.
You ask me if a match is on. Is this some kind of joke?
A game today was played indeed, but you’ve turned up too late.
It kicked off at eleven in the mornin’.”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I dropped into a barber’s shop to get a decent shave.
A match was on the radio, but my team wasn’t playing.
I asked the barber: “Why? How come?” He gave a shrug and sighed:
“Your lot played at eleven in the mornin’.”

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I headed for a stadium (no, it ain’t called “The Bridge”).
To see my football idols strut their stuff upon the pitch.
I got there about half-past two, but found the Ground was bare –
They’d started at eleven in the mornin’…

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Time was we worked eight hours a day, five days a week like dogs.
On Friday night we sank some pints down at our nearest pub.
Come Saturday we’d stay a-bed and have a nice lie in.
We’d sleep until eleven in the mornin’.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Then we’d get up and make ourselves a nice, hot cuppa tea.
We’d wolf down lunch, then all traipse off to cheer our local team.
And sure of one thing you could be – the match began at three –
No other time in afternoon or mornin’.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 But ain’t you heard? Now TV’s king, we fans must change our ways.
It’s Meejah Moguls pull the strings, and we know what they say:
“The match kicks off at twelve or two, at four or six or eight…”
And what next? At eleven in the mornin’?

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 In which case, draw your blinds real tight.
And log-like sleep all through the night.
You’ll have to be just like the lark, and get up early bright,
At some unholy hour in the mornin’!

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 31/12/04
Denys E. W. Jones



This poem is very vaguely inspired by Rudyard Kipling’s Danny Deever, which is built around the refrain “They’re hangin’ Danny Deever in the mornin’…”, but in the first four stanzas I also re-work my earlier poem One-Nil to the Chelsea… Well, we have already seen several twelve o’clock kick-offs in the last few years, so the idea of an eleven o’clock start represents a nightmare vision of what could happen if current trends continue…

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/eleven-in-the-mornin/