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When I came of footballing age
hyphenated names were not the rage.
Well there was one
This was a much longer name than Denis Law
Alan Bloor or Ian Ure.
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But it was rhymer friendly
A terrace lyricists dream
It would trot off the tongue
as you cheered your team.
Stiles to Best
Best to Law
Out on the wing to Storey- Moore.
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Then one day the off springs
of Ian Wright appeared.
Both good players who defenders feared
But the name Wright-Phillips
didn’t roll from the tongue
so they never heard
their names being sung.
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Now football’s in the midst
of its latest craze
names like Oxlaide-Chamberlain
and Villa’s Jake Doyle-Hayes.
Ruben Loftus-Cheek and Brooklyn Lyons-Foster
If you pay for every letter on the shirt
I’d imagine it will cost ya.
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Callum Hudson-Odoi and Nathaniel Mendez-Laing
Trent Alexander- Arnold how can these names be sang?
And to prove that it’s not just a shotgun that has a double barrel
we’ve Northern Ireland’s goalkeeper, Bailey Peacock-Farrell
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The likes of Kyle Walker-Peters have made life so very hard
For the poor old football lyricist and the terrace bard.
Try putting a tune to Hal Robson-Kanu or Cameron Humphreys-Grant
I’ll bet you all your Esso coins that you bloody can’t.