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Mabel planned her affair
With precision and care,
Left no traces for him to discover.
For his team’s football list
Showed the times when a tryst
Could be squared between her and her lover.
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Whether home or away,
He would not miss a day.
On match days, he would get all excited.
With his hat and rosette,
He would get his throat wet
In the pub while he taunted United.
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Back at home in their bed,
On the stairs, in the shed,
Mabel showed marv’lous agility.
And she hollered and roared
Every time that she scored
Which disturbed the poor neighbours’ tranquillity.
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On the fridge sat the list,
Not a fixture was missed,
For he was a staunch Blackburn Rover.
But when the Cup-tie ‘gainst Crewe
Was called off due to flu,
The game, as they say, was all over.
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He came home to his house
Where he found his dear spouse
Entwined on the dining room table.
And he gave a small cough
And said, “Match was called off.
Rescheduled for Tuesday night, Mabel.”