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This England team is difficult to figure,
a riddle and a puzzle, an enigma.
When they attack, they’re making schoolboys snigger
and still they have the old defensive stigma.
They’re ponderous and beatable
and eminently defeatable
but though they should be firmly in the soup,
still, they very easily topped their group.
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This England team should be back home in Blighty
instead of squaring up to the Italians.
They must have struck a deal with Aphrodite
and could be coming home with gold medallions.
The tabloids are derogative
and question their prerogative
but though nobody gives the team a chance,
still they topped Ukraine, the Swedes and France.
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This England team defies close analysing
but still, they’re here while others have gone home.
They’re very poor, but would it be surprising
if they broke the hearts of everyone in Rome?
This is really scatty stuff.
They’ve courage – but is that enough?
Technically they should be on the spot
but they’re still here while Netherlands are not.