Football and Beer

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 It was football and beer,
Only football and beer.
The only two things
He would talk ‘bout all year.
Philosophical theories,
He wouldn’t discuss
Nor entertain queries
‘Bout asparagus.
Nor would he expound
Upon hip-hop or jazz,
Nor say things profound
About Ariel or Daz.
His wife never heard
What she wanted to hear.
It was football and beer,
Only football and beer.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 She mentioned feng shui
(She knew that she oughtn’t)
He answered her, “Phooey!
That isn’t important!
Our midfield’s pathetic,
They cannot find space,
So get the aesthetic
Stuff out of my space.
We need a big win, love,
We need to show heart,
So please don’t begin, love,
Please don’t even start.
I’ve things on my mind,
So do not interfere
With my football and beer,
With my football and beer.”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The kids would run riot,
He didn’t seem to care.
She said, “Kids, be quiet,
Your father’s in there.”
Swift the response –
“He’s happy alone.
He likes to ensconce
Himself there on his own.
He’s watching repeats
Of the Worthington Cup
And washing down sweets
With the Guinness he’ll sup.
He couldn’t care less
If Doomsday was near,
Its just football and beer,
Only football and beer.”

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 His wife became very
Depressed and despondent,
And cited John Terry
As the co-respondent.
He turned to Jack Daniels
For a shoulder to cry on
And old football annuals
He’d come to rely on.
And at the last corner,
The death toll bell ringing,
There was but one mourner –
The fat lady singing.
They carved on his headstone
These words large and clear –
“Life shouldn’t revolve
Around football and beer.”


Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/football-and-beer/