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He tried a simple pass, but several twigs got in the way,
A header quickly gobbled up by Santa on his sleigh.
Tinsel strewn across the pitch conspired to make him wary,
And then he was up-ended by a self-effacing fairy.
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A silver ball with glinting lights connected with his jaw.
For him this festive fecklessness became the final straw.
“Tactics, boss!” he shouted to the sideline in frustration,
“How should we be dealing with this Christmas tree formation?”