I’m just a big coloured plastic ball
Who usually get’s kicked about on the sand
But since I blew on to a football pitch
I’m now the most famous ball in the land.
All the other beach balls are now jealous
Of me becoming an overnight star
While they’re all floating out to sea
Fans are buying me drinks at the bar.
But Liverpool fans don’t feel the same way
Threatening to pop me given half a chance
That’s why I’ve booked myself a long vacation
Taking in the beaches of the South of France.
But life for me hasn’t been that easy
Abandoned on Skegness beach years ago
Kicked around from pillar to post
One summer in Clacton, the next in Felixstowe.
Still at least I’ve done a bit of travelling
And now found fame on a Premier League pitch
I can now take life nice and easy
Now I’m a superstar and filthy rich.
So to all you plastic balls out there
Stay positive, because this could happen to you
Just think I was in Bognor last summer
Now I’m off to do a photo shoot, in Honolulu !