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Gym Fixed It

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Once upon a time
Women didn’t like football
Grown men wearing shorts
Didn’t make any sense at all

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The men were exasperated
Trying to explain the offside rule
With salt and pepper pots arranged
It was like being back at school

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Footballers were no idols then
They liked to smoke and drink
Before the great smell of Brut came along
They were prone to ‘pen and ink’

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Then ‘pin-up’ boys were identified
Looks propelled the blades of fame
Sportsmen muscled their way onto the scene
Gym and isotonics now part of the game
(no slice of lemon required)

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 To win over the aunts and the grannies
TV signed up a smoothie called Des
‘Every crowd has a silver Lynam’
At least, that’s what my ol’ Nan said!

16

Notes

In the ’70s, footballers were, in the main, puny chaps, not a muscle in sight. Now its all six-packs and face packs, fake tans and highlighted plumage. Footwear is all about fashion and sponsorship deals, never mind the metatarsals.

Anyway, why hasn’t Beckham ever had a perm?

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/gym-fixed-it/