|

HISTORICAL FOOTBALL

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 We’ll start in the Stevie Stone – age,
when people resided in a cave,
led by a Robbie Savage,
who was never taught to shave.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Kenny Sansom loved Delilah,
he was always trying to impress her,
and he was the strongest man on earth,
until he went to his hairdresser.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Gus Ceasar was a Roman,
who never lived to tell the tale,
and when his people cheered him on,
they cried out Alfie Hale.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Alan Knight had a round table,
Paul Baron fought the Picks,
and Tony Norman keeps going on,
about the great team of 66.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The gallant William Wallace,
fought King Edward and his troops,
and many centuries later,
he’d be starring for the Hoops.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Ted Drake of Chelsea used to travel,
across the seven seas,
plundering lands for Gerry Queen Elizabeth,
whom he yearned to please.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 He’d bring her back tobacco,
necklaces and pearls,
much to the annoyance
of her pandering Robbie Earles.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The John Tudors were a funny breed,
just look at Nick Henry the eighth,
when Roma said he could not divorce,
he just went and changed his faith.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 He wasn’t a pleasant Ledley King,
not a nice Joe Royle,
and when his wives upset him,
his blood would Johnny Boyle.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 He’d take it out on the people,
by hiking up the tax,
and then the poor old missus,
like Venables would get the axe.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Craig Shakespeare came from Stratford,
and wrote a few olde plays,
‘ to be or not to be’
is still a favourtie phrase.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 There was Captain Charlie Cooke,
who sailed the blue Pacific,
the natives loved him dearly,
they said he tasted — just terrific.

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Sammy Nelson won Trafalgar,
in eighteen hundred and five,
with one arm disabled,
and a black patch on his eye.

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Steve Livingstone, and Gary Stanley,
you know them I presume,
spent their time in Africa,
where Livingstone met his doom.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Queen Victoria reigned a long time,
she owned a ground in Stoke,
she married Phillippe Albert,
a decent German bloke.

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 President Abraham Lincoln City,
got involved in a civil war,
and Barry (Lord) Kitchener of Millwall,
got a rough time from the Boer.

17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 The Titanic left Southampton,
bound for the New York shore,
but a tackle by Henning ice Berg,
left it on the ocean floor.

18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 David Connolly led the Easter Rising,
a Peter Thompson gun in hand,
and John Collins continued on,
to try and free his land.

19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 Ian Wallace, Ronnie Simpson,
she seduced the future King,
and Bobby Hope of West Brom,
he hung out with a bloke called Bing.

20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 Stokes Neville Chamberlain, declared war
in nineteen thirty nine,
as hoardes of German soldiers,
poured across the Rhine.

21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 Mick McCarthy (ism) led the witch hunts,
looking under peoples beds,
he must have been looking for Liverpool fans,
cos he said he hated Reds.

22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 Ray F Kennedy the President,
gunned down in a street in Dallas,
conspiracy theorists concluded,
he secretly followed Crystal Palace.

23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 Martin Luther Blisset King,
crossed the color line,
and Gerry Armstrong landed on the moon,
in nineteen sixty nine.

24 Leave a comment on verse 24 0 Jimmy Carter farmed his peanuts,
was for the poor man not the rich,
unlike Spurs Ben Thatcher,
who was a right old ***** devil.

25 Leave a comment on verse 25 0 I’m now up to the modern day
and my football brains gone lame,
just trying to figure out ,
did Kate Bush ever play the game.

26 Leave a comment on verse 26 0 So the History C.S.E grade six,
has finally come into play,
so I’m putting down the pen now,
until another day.

Notes

any problems with the historical facts or dates please refer them to Mr Griffin , Head of History at Selhurst High School for Boys. He can take the blame.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/historical-football/?shared=email&msg=fail