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With a case of Arsene Wenger vision
I decide to look up an optician
Cos I can’t see action at the other end
Said eye man is a Spurs fan
Who though sharp eyed and deadpan
Says, “Way I see it, any three from ten”.
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“I’m not here with views on relegation
It’s The Shed End at our home games
Thats’ the spot where me visions somewhat blurred
When the ball spends time at that end
Me retinas’ can’t quite comprehend
Who it is, to whom the faithful gave the bird”.
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So after eye tests and new glasses
I’m totally flabbergasted
At the sharpness of the images on view
The pitch is a lovely shade of green
I can see a hunger in our team
Which I haven’t seen too much of, under Phil
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Yesterdays’ match. A revelation
As I looked around the stadium
T’was as if me old mince pies were born again
There were vibrant punchy colours
Full on tackles made me shudder
As with new glasses on, I really saw a game.
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Did I catch that Frankie Lampard shove
Made Mario Melchiot look a mug?
As we nicked three points with ninety on the clock
I’ll plead the Arsene Wenger
With failing eyesight my defender
As I thought we’d drawn, I took me new bins off!