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I Love Alan Green cos He’s Grumpy!

P Maguire

Tuesday, October 4th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The finest the best in the land
He’s a star with the mic in his hand
He’s big and he’s brave with his words
And he’ll moan and he’ll groan and he’ll curse

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Up with the lark for the game
The kick off at noon its insane
Sundays for church its a joke
Yer man there wrapped up in his coat

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 For footballers messing around
Our Alan will grumble and growl
The cry will go up for a foul
“Get up son that’s just not allowed!”

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 If the footie is boring beware
For Alan is not easily scared
His grumpiness pours never leaks
Ask Fergie he still doesn’t speak

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 No balmy times back in the Nou Camp
Miracle nights in the Bul
Its back to the rain in arl blighty
And strikers who can’t bloody shoot

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 The prancing of such prima donnas
Won’t garner his praise but his wrath
For he tuts and guffaws and recanters
And sometimes with irony laughs

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 The wizard of Radio 5
Bringing his thoughts to the game
The Blanchflower to Pearcey’s Mackay
Entertainment is his middle name

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Oh Alan’s a jewel of this nation
A footballing gem I adore
For his wit and his notebooks for goalposts
But most coz he’s grumpy for sure!

Notes

Some philosophical pearls of wisdom and football observations from Alan:

‘This will be their 19th consecutive game without a win unless they can get an equaliser.’

‘You don’t score 64 goals in 86 games without being able to score goals.’

‘It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road.’

‘Ziege hits it high for Heskey who isn’t playing’

‘Xavier, who looks just like Zeus, not that I have any idea what Zeus looks like…’

‘A few question marks are being asked in the Honduran defence’ –

‘His official height is five feet five and he doesn’t look much taller than that’

‘John Arne Riise was deservedly blown up for that foul’

‘They care about their club, and that’s why they always have something good to say, even when it is negative’

class.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/i-love-alan-green-cos-hes-grumpy/