Identity Crisis

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The tea-leafing young git
Tried to half-inch our convent school’s kit
In The L.C.C dressing room prior to the game
Stood (like us) in absolute stiches of mirth
As a park keeper sniffed a well-seasoned shirt
and from the tag read a strong English name.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I remember answering to W. Smith
Dinny, to R.G. Asquith
Little Francie being P.T. Fortescue
Declan still hears C.S Bates
From close knit family and mates
When we’ve indulged in a few at a do.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 If Nelsons are short
Mere slips a bhoys needing kit to do sport
Pray the nuns find a new set of shirts for the team?
Their prayers having miserably failed
The canny nuns still prevailed (and got us out gaol)
By storming a jumble sale, in search of our dream.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 In the full-on scrum for team shirts
Sister Louise tripping over her skirts
Entertained a church-hall of chain-smoking hags
Though I’m obviously forever indebted to The Sis
She didn’t have to suffer a joshing as W. Smith
Having refused to remove those English name-tags.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Ah sure the poverty, the poverty
That sense of sheer abject why always me?
A burden through-out life I’ve strived to dismiss
Mind you, watching a recent game on T.V
At fella’s sporting; gloves, bra’s, hosiery?
I’ll settle for close mates joshing me as W. Smith.



Rhyming slang. Tea-leafing. Thieving. Half-inch. Pinch. Nelson Eddy’s. Readies. Cash. L.C.C. The London County Council. Who looked after the absolutely blinding public parks, iffy football pitches, and often austere dressing rooms of my youth. Irish families sometimes refer to bhoys names Dennis/Denis as Dinny, and Francis as Francie.


Stay sage. Bode well. Adios ESL.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/identity-crisis-2/