Football Poets

If You Live The High Life ..for David Beckham

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 If you live the high life you must learn to take the knocks
as someone’s always jealous of success.
If you live the high life you’ll need shoulders like an ox
to just survive the hatred of the press.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 And if they call your mum a peasant
take a deep breath, remain pleasant,
don’t ever raise your softly squeaky voice.
Just remember all those England fans
who in vile salute have raised their hands
and left the German press with little choice.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 If you live the high life you must always come up smiling
even when accused of something gross.
If you live the high life keep your temperament beguiling:
don’t do anything too ugly or morose.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 If they satirise your stick-like wife,
slice your ego with a butter knife,
you must take it on the chin and walk away.
Just remember the goose-stepping
by some beer boys from Epping
and live to score a goal another day.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 If you live the high life you must learn to take the knocks
as someone’s always jealous of success.
If you live the high life you’ll need shoulders like an ox
to just survive the hatred of the press.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 They say that football is just a game
but people will abuse your fame
in a desperate bid to make you fail
because in Nuremberg and Hanover
fans who gloat about the war
have unilaterally lost their sense of scale.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 If you live the high life you must always come up smiling
even when some fans are thoughtless thugs.
If you live the high life keep your temperament beguiling
and always check your dressing room for bugs.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 If they call your wife a trophy whore
just worry about the final score
(as long as you know she’s nothing of the sort).
Get your team into the final,
don’t flush your chances down the urinal.
Keep your mind entirely set on sport.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 If you live the high life you must learn to take the knocks
and never show a measure of distress.
If you live the high life you’ll need shoulders like an ox
to survive the pressures of success.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 And remember this final warning:
if you fail, then the next morning
the English press will hit you twice as hard.
They’ll be infinitely meaner
than after the foul against Argentina
when all your temper got you was a card.

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