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I’m not a real man cos I don’t like football

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I always sniff the milk to see if it is sour
I know where to get a drink when it’s After Hours
And I’ve got a girl to like me just by giving her flowers
But I’m not a real man cos I don’t like football

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Ask me for a joke and I can tell you one off-hand
If a lady needs my seat then I’m happy to stand
If I pull a fluke shot at pool I pretend it was planned
But I’m not a real man cos I don’t like football

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I can break my collarbone and show no pain
I don’t care about my hair when it starts to rain
I pretend I’m listening when my girlfriend complains
But I’m not a real man cos I don’t like football

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I always get my round in at the bar
I become possessed when I play air guitar
I was obsessed with Star Wars up to that one with Jar Jar
But I’m not a real man cos I don’t like football

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 I’ll talk on any subject except my inner self
I can wire a plug and I can put up a shelf
And I am sure I’m dying if I’m suffering ill health
But I’m not a real man cos I don’t like football

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 I don’t have a clue how much pot-pourri should cost
Every meal I make, I have to set first on defrost
I don’t ask for directions because I can’t admit I’m lost
But I’m not a real man cos I don’t like football

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 I am quick to anger but I find it hard to cry
When asked ‘do I look fat in this?’ I’m wise enough to lie
At Christmas I get socks, aftershave and the obligatory tie
But I’m not a real man cos I don’t like football

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 I have written my all-time top ten album list
I tell my mates I love ‘em when I’m really pissed
But my world didn’t end when Lampard missed
And that is why I am not a real man

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/im-not-a-real-man-cos-i-dont-like-football/