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Incident During the Bohs v Shels Game

Peter Goulding

Monday, August 11th, 2003

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The ball was sprayed wide out to Ryan,
Who was hugging the touchline with grace.
Dave Crawley was desperately tryin’
To avoid looking straight at his face.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 But as he went in for the tackle
[All full-backs are merciless swine]
The Banshee let out a loud cackle,
And booted the ball down the line.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 And onward the two of them scampered
To the sound of their managers’ cries.
Poor Crawley was seriously hampered
By having Ryan’s hair in his eyes.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Just as they got to the corner,
Young Creepy went sliding in hard.
[There’s rumours that he had been born a-
Lone in a dirty farmyard]

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Young pretty boy Ryan went crashing
Right through the perimeter fence,
McKeon, the bollix, came dashing,
Lest somebody took great offence.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 The winger got up out the heather,
His face masked in blood, grass and snot.
The crowd were all wondering whether
It was an improvement or not.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Was it a goal-kick, or was it
A corner, or was it a free?
Dave Crawley claimed goal-kick because it
Had touched Ryan last on the knee.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Bobby Ryan’s face settled the issue,
All covered in flora and fauna.
McKeon produced a large tissue,
And gave the Boh’s winger a corner.

Notes

Bobby Ryan, the Bohemians winger, not known for his stunning good looks.
Dave Crawley, the Shelbourne full back.
McKeon, a crap referee.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/incident-during-the-bohs-v-shels-game/?shared=email&msg=fail