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Jason, be my Lover

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Praise the Lord, oh, happy day
That Jason got the dart from Bray,
I’d love to see him play away,
Jason, be my lover.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Robbie Keane’s more famous cousin
Bound to bag about two dozen,
Round the box, he’s always buzzin’
Oh, Jason be my lover.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 At the heart of Shels’ attacks
Muscling past the centre-backs,
A nicer arse than Tony Mac’s
Jason, be my lover.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 When I’m feeling out of sorts,
I think about his skimpy shorts,
I yearn to join his Argonauts,
Oh, Jason be my lover.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 He always looks so neat and trim,
Feeds off balls from Wes and Jim,
I wish that I could sleep with him
Jason, be my lover.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Doherty and Tony Mac’ll
Thread their balls to make him crackle,
I’ll stand up to watch his tackle,
Jason, be my lover.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Surrounded by away team’s shirts,
He always goes in where it hurts,
His energy just comes in spurts
Jason, be my lover.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 I do not think it very droll
When Jason has his back to goal
And Ollie sticks it in the hole,
Jason, be my lover.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Muscly thighs and rolled-up socks,
Bravely takes his share of knocks
I’d love to mark him in the box
Jason, be my lover.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Other fans may jeer and scoff,
But he’s my Mikhail Gorbachev,
Hope Nutsy never pulls him off,
Oh, Jason, be my lover.

3

Notes

Jason Byrne, Robbie Keane’s more famous cousin, scored 13 goals in his first ten games for Shelbourne. Naturally, as soon as I wrote this orgasmic eulogy, the goals dried up.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/jason-be-my-lover/