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Joke Bloke

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 What is it about us blokes?
Full of bonhomie and jokes
Beers, and cheers
We leer with peers
An’ we absolutely love our footy
Would rather score with Scary than Snooty
Except for the basher of the Bosch
Who obviously prefers his bit of Posh
And if we have to add spice to our lives
It wouldn’t be by cheating on our wives
But by furtively supporting a second team
To ever so slightly, expand our dream
Of eventually picking winners
Instead of picking at our dinners
As we nervously await the scores
Betwixt battles with ‘er indoors
Be it teleprinter, teletext or sms
Our weekends a mess
As we listen out
Then scream or shout
Whether in joy, or pain
Not dependant on the rain
But on an intonation
As we guess the indication
As to which way the score will tumble
Or maybe it’ll be a fumble
With the remote control
That had been buried like a mole
In the bowels of the couch
And I can vouch
You’d already searched there before
Even battered yourself on the jaw
As you leaned and overstretched
Body askew, you’d almost retched
As you retrieved
Slightly peeved
The tv zapper
Before heading to the crapper
To mull
Was the game dull
Or rip-roaring
Will you be snoring
Or jumping for glee
Later on, in front of the tv
‘The Premiership’
Will it be a trip
To treasure
Or will the pleasure
Be the film on the other side
About some daring runaway bride
Or will you just glide
In between the sheets
Concentrate on the heats
Before finishing the race
Way off the pace
Of course
Of the truly dominant force

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/joke-bloke/