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Jumping Ship

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Captain Doolin mopped his brow,
And gazed around the clipper,
Reflecting wryly, dryly, how
He’d come to be its skipper.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Upon the rocks they had been snared,
Beset by foul disasters,
The punctured bow had been repaired
With tons of sticking plasters.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The crew jumped ship at every chance,
To seek for better quarters,
While those who stayed did look askance
At calmer, deeper waters.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 And as the waves did lash the stern,
The fo’c’sle started creaking.
The Captain looked with great concern
To where the hull was leaking.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The mast had snapped one summer past,
When tempests were abounding,
The broken rudder would not last
Another vicious pounding.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Upon the deck, the cabin boy
Abruptly raised his spy-glass
And shouted shrilly, “Ship Ahoy!”
As Doolo fixed his eyeglass.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Another ship came into view,
Although the storm was raging,
Its decking painted red and blue,
Though limpet-strewn and aging.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The other ship at last hove to,
Beside the College Clipper,
And Captain Doolin then strove to
Speak with the other skipper.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 “No skipper on this vessel, Cap’n,”
The First Mate answered quickly.
“His death did very sudden happen,
He didn’t look that sickly.”

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 “No skipper, eh?” the Captain cried,
And stroked his chin quite slowly.
“It isn’t right,” the mate replied,
“Unnatural, unholy.”

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 “Then catch my bag,” the Captain roared
“And catch my trusty parrot.
And catch me when I jump aboard,
And take me to the garret.”

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 “Captain Doolin, won’t you linger?”
His old crew wailed, confounded.
The Captain raised his middle finger,
Which left them all dumbfounded.

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 And as the Captain jumped, his crew
Were left to muse and wonder
How long their ship could sail the blue,
Before being dragged down under.

17

Notes

University College Dublin [UCD] are relatively unique in European football, as they are virtually the only university team to play in a top division. As their manager, Paul Doolin complained though, their players are frequently being poached by richer clubs, so it is impossible for them to have any continuity from season to season.
This week, with UCD adrift at the bottom of the table, comes the highly ironical news that Mr Doolin has been appointed manager of second-from-bottom Drogheda United, who recently sacked their manager.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/jumping-ship/