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Kirkcaldy Man

HUGH MORRIS

Thursday, December 16th, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 “Dr. Livingstone I presume
We’ll be settin’ off quite soon,”
Said aul’ Jock abou’ th’ expedition,
“Bu’ good Doctor, understand,
There’s nae place in this bonnie land
Tha’ doesna ha’ a foo’ballin’ tradition…”

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Th’ Explorer folded up his map
An’ chortled, “Nonsense my dear chap,”
As they climbed aboard a northbound train,
“Down in some deep dark glen
We will find a race of men
Who have never heard about a football game…”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Wi’ six Gillies, seven Ghurkas,
Nine Trackers an’ ten Sherpas,
From th’ Shetlands almos’ down t’ Hadrian’s Wall,
They trekked throughout th’ Highlands,
Th’ Lowlands an’ th’ Islands,
Bu’ ev’rywhere folk knew about foo’ball…

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 One year later these men hardy
Trundled into aul’ Kirkca’dy,
Found a pub an’ slumped down in some chairs,
Bu’ when they said th’ word “Foo’ball”
There was nae response a’ all,
Except a few uncomprehendin’ stares…

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 “By Jingo!” cried th’ Doc,
“I say, my good friend Jock,
We’ve stumbled upon something strange indeed,
These folk don’t recognise the word,
Of football they have never heard,
It’s humanity of a very different breed…”

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Jock jus’ shook his head,
Then t’ th’ Doctor quietly said,
Wi’ a sympathetic, knowin’ smile,
“They are Raith Rovers men
An’ if Psychology y’ ken,
You’ll realise th’ poor lads are in denial…”

© Llew Beaton 16 December 2004

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/kirkcaldy-man/